I Can Make a Difference, Inc. organized a weekend retreat for 48 single mothers and their children at Fairview Lake YMCA Camps, a branch of the Metropolitan YMCA of the Oranges, in September of 2023. The families shared cabins and parents bonded over their experiences of motherhood. This was the second time the organization and its founder Faith Saunders had come to Fairview Lake; the first time was in 2019.
Half of the families who attended last year were able to participate through the financial assistance program provided by the Y.
The retreat provided an opportunity for the participants to experience the outdoors and was centered around team-building activities, while enjoying many of the fun aspects of camp, like campfires, singing, and s'mores. The event also provided mothers with healthy coping skills to help them through parenting challenges.
During the retreat, mothers and children stayed in cabins together but separated during the day for different activities. The participants came from all backgrounds, and the retreat provided a safe space for them to share their stories.
The event also provided the mothers with a support network and validation from other mothers who were going through similar situations. The participants were able to build connections with each other and were encouraged to stay in touch after the retreat.
Melissa Leak said she never could have imagined the benefits that would come from the experience.
“It totally changed my thinking and mindset, restored my esteem, and energized me,” she said. “It reminded me of the goodness of community.”
Leak lives in Paterson and has three children, ages 20, 15, and 8. Her two younger kids, Ian and Emi, attended the last retreat with her. She’s grateful for the experience the retreat provided, not just for her, but for her family to be able to escape the “elements in which we have been struggling to withstand on our-day-to day journey.”
“We returned home a lot more in unity, looking toward better moments,” she said.
Saunders knows the experience of being a single mom as well, and the importance of having a support network, or a “village”.
“Many people don’t have that support. Your resources limit you to be in isolation. This experience provides emotional benefits, and helps the mothers to foster the support they need,” she said.
Without the Y’s financial assistance, many of the families would not have been able to attend. The Y for All Fund makes programs offered through the Y more affordable for families with limited incomes or facing financial hardships. Families who qualify receive a reduced rate on Y programs. Each year, the Y raises money through its Annual Support Campaign for the financial assistance fund.
Saunders said she plans to hold the event again this fall and include a mental health component for teenagers in the program.
She shared some of the testimonials from past participants:
“It was an fulfilling experience. Thank Faith for your kindness and big heart to keep us connected. One of the many lessons I learned is to know that I am not at all alone in this journey. I have to journal daily so I can make time for self- care…and have enough to spare without stretching out too thin. Be aware of the uncomfortable conditions in the circumstances I face through these tests it may call for closer focus and deeper introspection. Write for clarity. Talk for therapy. Choose healthy activities for relief.”
“🙌🏿I am so glad to have these connections. 💜💜💜 My accountability partner and I are in touch.”
“I have so many words about the retreat. It was the best thing that has happened to me in my adult life, especially at this phase. Thank you.”